EP 4: "There's No Way It Looked Like Ranch"

This week I take you from how I went from from “Hi” to “I do,” in 10 weeks... I mean, what could possibly go wrong, right?

From a whirlwind wedding to cracks showing up almost immediately, Austin adventures, and a divorce-era heaux phase — this episode has it all.

Plus: the infamous “ranch” shirt shift, what I learned about dealbreakers, and why I’ll never rush into anything again

The Unhinged Ginge is my unfiltered memoir in podcast form, just stories. The laughter is loud, the hindsight is still nursing a hangover, and the details are... as accurate as memory allows.

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Transcript

0:01

What's up guys? Welcome back to the Unhinged Ginge am Beaux, episode four. Getting going. So I last left you, I was in Orlando, or leaving Orlando actually. I'm just kind of like blown my life up and I am about to move back in with my parents and, uh, deal with all of that. wasn't really proud of it. but we all fuck up and we've all been there. I had to do it twice. I did it again when I was 30. Fantastic. So we'll get started with this one. So I'm back in Virginia, I'm depressed. I am, dealing with my nonsense and my feelings that I'm not really good at processing'cause I'm 19 and who is, and, I'm looking for a job.'cause that's what needs to be done first and foremost. I need to start making money so I can get the fuck out of here. Period. That's the most important thing. So I'm flying around for jobs everywhere and um, like, so I was driving and I drove past this shitty. Little chain restaurant and something just kind of like to like, turn here, turn now Bo. And for whatever reason, I guess I did, I turned and that's where I got a job and also Where I ended up meeting what would be my soon to be husband and then soon to be ex-husband, six years following. So I, um, pulled in, started working there, got to know this guy. started like casually seeing him, nothing too serious. Um, was also sleeping with the kitchen manager at that same place as well, so, and. I think I might have hooked up with a server. I don't know. It was a lot. I did, I did, was doing the most, trying to keep myself busy and definitely, preoccupied from my feelings and my feelings of failure mainly. So from working at that job, I was also trying to hang out with some people and I didn't really know that many people, because I left right after high school. So the only people that I knew were the people who stuck around and go figure. I ended up. Going to hang out with the same, were you fucking in the bathroom? I ended up going, she doesn't sound like that, by the way. She'll probably kill me from doing her impression that way. But, um, I ended up, going to a little house party. We called'em Gettys, um, a little Getty with, um, her and her old friends. Not the people who were on the trip with us, but like her group of friends, that she grew up with. And, um. The, yeah, that party, this guy walks in and I remember just when I saw him, I was like, who the fuck is that? I just thought he was most handsome thing I had seen at the time. he was tall dark handsome and covered in tattoos. he had this cool, weird, deep voice that was just interesting. I'm a sucker for a good voice, at least a distinct one, you know? And his was different. I hadn't heard anybody who talk like him before. And yeah, we sat down, we started talking. Turns out he was dating. The friend of the friend who was there. So I was like, oh great, perfect. He's occupied, he's taken. So all just mind my own business. But we had this really great conversation about skateboards.'cause I used to, go out with my friends and skateboard when I was in college and would borrow this guy's longboard. I was telling, Daniel all about it. Daniel's the guy at the party. I was just like 46 inch concave Pintail, sector nine Bamboo series, and I'm just rattling off all of these things about this board that I was like, didn't get to use anymore. And he is like, oh man, that's really, like, he's like, that's dope, blah, blah, blah. just getting some good conversation. We're talking about life and music and, and shit and whatever. And, he is like. I don't know, 8, 8, 9 years older than me. I have a hard time keeping up these days. But, um, yeah, so, uh, he was still seeing this girl, but he sold weed, so I needed a dealer. So, that's how I ended up, staying in contact with him at first, more often was because he was my pot dealer. he ended up. not being in that relationship anymore. we started flirting and then one thing led to another. He asked me if I wanted to hang out one night. And of course I absolutely fucking did. And we were just driving around'cause there's nothing to do in this town where we lived. so he is just driving around, like enjoying each other's company and he's like, so, uh, you wanna get a room? I was like, yeah, absolutely. I guess he said it because he thought that I was kidding or he thought, I don't know what he thought. I don't know if he was trying to make a joke, but to see how I would respond. But I guess that wasn't the response that he was thinking I would have, because clearly he didn't know me that well yet. Um, so we ended up going to a fucking Holiday Inn and we stopped at this store nearby. And he goes in and he grabs like champagne and strawberries and flowers and fucking beer and shit, and, um, comes out to the car. He opens the car door and puts these flowers in my lap. He goes, these aren't for you. I was like, that's cool. He's like, oh my God, Beaux I'm fucking kidding. Jesus. I'm like, oh man. My self esteem or lack thereof, is out on like full blast. God, how we have changed. Uh, oh man. I was really, really more than willing to accept absolutely nothing from these men besides just, uh, about, you know, and like, what, nothing but, um, good or bad sex. It didn't even fucking matter. I just wanted attention. That's what I needed. I'm like, love me, love me, love me. Um. So, yeah, so that's not me anymore, but Damnit, yeah. He threw this, like, he threw those flowers on my lap. These aren't for you. Oh, Jesus. Okay. So anyway, we go up to this room. He ends up getting the fucking hot tub suite. which in hindsight is like, oof. I wonder how well they clean those things, but didn't matter at the time. We got busy all over that fucking room. We had a good time. We talked and just. Really enjoyed each other. It was a really cool night. I don't know, I'd like, I'd be falling in love left and right and so I fell in love with that man so fast after that night. Like Woofy man. Ooh. But I was seeing him and I was also seeing the km who was Also seeing the GM of that restaurant. Restaurants are so incestuous, man. We all just be up in the family, fucking each other. It's crazy. So I was seeing the km and the bartender who ended up being my husband and Daniel, just, he always had. His fingers and a lot of honeypots, you know what I mean? And he always had a lot of different side hustles going on. he was always really active just doing something. So, not to be surprised that sometimes, you know, you just don't get contacted. It wasn't a ghosting situation'cause that wasn't so much a thing back then, but it absolutely fucking felt like one. Um, so fast forward just a little bit. I started spending more and more time with. who ends up being my husband. And, um, Daniel kind of just disappeared for a couple of weeks. I don't know what he was going on or what happened, but in that couple weeks that he was gone or not contacting me, I was rapidly falling more for. My husband and, um, we were having sex one night and he said, what would you say if I said I could do this with you for like, ever? And I was like, oh my God. Absolutely. I would love that. That sounds amazing. Fucking idiot. so we were lying there and it's like, was that, it Did we just get engaged low key? Like was that what that was? And um, yeah, it turns out, uh, it was, that was what it was. And so we were like, oh, fuck it. We're both off on Tuesday. Let's get married. We weren't planning a wedding, we weren't planning shit. We were just like, let's go, let's just be with each other. This is awesome. Let's just be with each other. Ugh. Man, it's so weird telling it now.'cause it's just like, what? God, you were a fucking child. You were a baby. What were you doing? Ah, I love her and I forgive her for indiscretions. Anyway, bygones. we were going to get married on Tuesday, and it just did not feel right to me. to not tell my parents. I don't know why. It wasn't something that I had normally felt really obligated to do too much was to tell them what I was doing with my life, just because I've always, been more like, I'll fucking figure it out. I don't want anybody's help unless I absolutely need to have help. it I decided to tell my parents. They did not seem pleased. he was with me when I told them they pulled him in the bathroom and talked to him for like an hour or so without me. That's in my parents' bathroom's, like where we go smoke cigarettes and where we have family talks and things like that It's a small bathroom just with a big tub. we use the tub like a bench and we all sit in there and smoke and talk and, um, it's been, uh, the main scene for many, many, a deep talk with many a human. In or outta the family to be honest with you. deep talk with Sandie. That's my mom. deep talks with Sandie happen in the bathroom while we're chain smoking and drinking all the time. So. Oh,'cause it's'cause of the vent. It's'cause of the vent.'cause of the vent. Pull out the smoke. It doesn't, that bathroom smells like smoke. It's been 20 years of smoke, whatever. Anyway, bygones Scott, I just keep rambling today. Ah, enjoy. So, so, they pulled him in the bathroom and they were talking to him about, What it means to marry their daughter and who I am and, um, that you can't settle down like you're gonna have to travel a lot. she is really random. She changes her mind a lot. She's all over the place. You have to be quite a person to be able to do this and, and stick with it because she's gonna be pulling you all over the place. But if you can, I'm sure she's gonna take you on an incredible adventure and also don't fucking hurt her. You know? So, um, yeah, they had that talk. I guess I never got too many details about it really, besides what I just told you. And, it seemed to be fine. they really just wanted to do something for us, so they were like, just give us a week. So we pushed it off until Saturday. So, or no, I'm sorry, it was on Saturday. we got married on a Thursday.'cause it was weird as shit. So we waited, it was a Thursday, it was the following Thursday and it was 4-19.'cause we didn't wanna do it on Friday. We didn't wanna do it on 4-20 because we wanted to be able to take the 19th and the 20th off so that we would always have 4-20 as a holiday that we could take off work and we could blame it on our anniversary. So that's where our priorities lie. And so we got married on Thursday. my parents kind of threw something together. We had a little sushi platter and a bunch of, wings he wore a slayer shirt and his favorite pair of jeans that were ripped. And, neither one of us had big fans of underwear and so he had a hole in his pocket so you could see his ass cheek and then I was wearing this green and white checkered sundress that nobody told me. A did not fit. B like looked like shit. C was C through, so luckily I did wear underwear that day because whenever you took a picture you could see straight through my dress. It was this green and white checkered sundress. And then I just like bought on the fly. I thought green and white. I look great with my red hair, and my mom wore baby's breath. in her, hair when she got married. So I thought I would too. she got me a little one and it was really cute and I thought it would look great with this dress. the unbeknownst to me it was just because this was before my best reduction, so it was just like, boom, it was just tits for days. And I don't know, it wasn't cute, but I didn't care. I was in love. And, uh, his family wasn't super fun. So my family's a laugh riot. They're out of their minds, but his family's not super fun. So, that it was kind of a clash at the weddings'cause we're having the best time. His family's like, who the fuck is this bitch? Um, anyway, So then, um, let's fast forward. We get married, and I bump into Daniel at the grocery store a couple weeks after that. And he was still in these like, I didn't know where you is. And I hadn't talked to him in a while. he is like, Hey, how are you? It's good to see you. I'm like, yeah, where have you been? he is like, oh, blah, blah, blah. I don't even remember what he told me, but he was gone. he is like, so what's new? What's happening? I'm like, well, I got married. it was like this, oh, oh, oh, oh. I don't know. It was weird. I still don't know how I feel about that moment. I feel like in hindsight, in that moment, I realized I fucked up the second I saw him and saw him, and I felt the way that I felt about him. Still, I knew that I wasn't prepared to be anybody's wife.'cause I, I. I was only half in, but I made a commitment, I made a promise, and so I pretended like I was all in until I was all the way the fucking, and I definitely was pretty shortly after that. Um, I, but, uh, yeah, so, um. So both of us were living with our parents, um, when we had got married. so it was like, I'm not staying here. With my parents, my grandparents were living with my parents too. This is a full house. I'm not doing this right now. so we ended up moving in with his mom and, that was awful. Um, she's a very nice lady. Or at least she was to my face most of the time. She would say little snarky things when he left the room and he never believed me, but that's okay. That was very much his style. I don't wanna turn this into a ex-husband bashing fest by any stretch of the imagination, but if these little guys sneak in from time to time, please don't blame me. I'm trying to have some decorum, but it's a little bit difficult when you've been burned. I know all of you get it, so, uh, yeah. So, oh, fun tidbit. Backtrack real quick. The guy that married us was ordained and he was actually friends with my husband's mom, and he didn't wanna marry anybody again because every single person he got married, got divorced. He's like, I'm cursed. Do not let me marry you. I don't want to. And we're like, oh, no. Please, please, please. So we don't want it to be religious and you're not a priest, so we need the ordained guy. You're the only ordained guy we know. And so he did it. And, uh. Your streaks still solid there, honey, because we didn't fucking make it either. So yeah, crushed that one and thank God for that. I'm glad we didn't listen to him and I'm glad we were cursed. So, yeah, I guess. If we're gonna kind of bleed this into when the first couple of cracks started coming up in that relationship. it wasn't long. It was very shortly after. we got married in April and my grandfather had died in July. I only have one set of grandparents, my mom's parents. And my popo was awesome. He was the only guy, only person really that could ever calm me down when I got pissed off. So he was very special to me. He was also an Aries. He knew how to talk to me because, you know, we understood each other. And, um, my husband at the time, asked me if he needed to take off work for the funeral because it was Saturday and it was a money day and he didn't think that it was that important. To, uh, to attend with me since he barely knew the guy. And, uh, I should have known then what I meant to him because he was more concerned about money than, emotionally supporting me in a time of need. It was the first relative, and first, I mean, besides my mentor who had died, which was a completely different kind of situation, also really fucking tragic, but. Very, like, just different. So, uh, that sucked and he said that. it was kind of when the red flags started showing up a little bit more. And that was only three months in. This relationship lasted six years. So, but I mean, I guess it's not too bad for only knowing the guy for 10 weeks. Oh, I didn't tell you guys that I knew this guy for 10 weeks. okay, so, Sorry, I got stuck on my dead grandpa for a second. All right. So, another thing that would happen is like, we were, you know, honeymoon period we're like banging like bunnies. Everything's fine. I didn't think that there was any type of issue. And then as we were together longer and longer, the sex just got slower and slower, like happening. Um, it just wasn't happening. As frequently as it used to. And I was like, Hmm, what's wrong? I'm 21, I got married. just over two weeks after my 21st birthday. So I was a baby getting married, which I had no fucking business doing. And um, so since that's the case, my self-esteem wasn't there. My frontal lobe hadn't fully fucking developed yet. Like, I don't know what I was doing. It was ridiculous. so what ends up happening is the sex is getting further and further apart. I am thinking that there's something wrong with me, because my husband won't fuck me. And I'm like, what is this about? he is just playing video games all the fucking time, just constantly playing video games. I tried to get in on, I play with them. He eventually, the guy got a Wii and so I was like doing like back when it was like brand fucking new. So we were playing, Mario Kart and shit like that. I was trying to be a part of what he enjoyed. but he refused to be a part of what I enjoyed. and now I can't even remember what I enjoyed back then, to be honest with you. I wasn't a big fan of it, so I figured maybe, if we get him out of his mom's house, this'll be better. So we, saved up our money and we got an apartment. So we get an apartment in, Virginia, and it's like, okay, cool. Same shit. Nothing's changing. I'm like, all right, well this sucks. So then we do mushrooms One day. It's like this weird trip. He kind of goes into this crazy state and, um, he keeps saying like, insulting me, saying all this crazy weird shit. And then he keeps referencing his ex-girlfriend I'm like, what? Because I'm like, I'm tripping, but I'm not tripping like that. And so I'm like, I'm having a babysit him.'cause he's like, he turns it. He went. Himself, infant himself. And he like kind of reverted back to a child. And it was a very odd situation. And after that I was like, we gotta get the fuck outta here. so I decided that we should move. He followed along with it. we put the names of cities in a hat that we liked and we picked out three. And then we went to go visit and we ended up landing in Austin Tech. And we were in Austin, Texas for a couple of years. I started working at a restaurant and bar down in the thick of it, off of like second. And Brazos is the middle of downtown. And that's when I met Rayna, who is going to be coming up more and more frequently through this Austin chapter. So I will be doing a little intro to her very soon. we had this moment where. we met some people who lived in the apartment that we had moved in. They were some, they were a crazy couple. And, uh, we went to this really cool karaoke bar in a parking garage, I don't remember what it was called, but we went there me and this chick had gone up to the bar to order shots and he comes in from outside smoking and comes in behind me and puts his arms around my waist. And goes to like kiss me and I was like, fall back, fall back. This guy's about to buy us shots. And so he walked to the other side of the bar and gave me like a little wink and a thumbs up and I was like, oh man. Like we trust each other. This is fun. He's letting me do my thing. Wow. We were like. Growing or something, or like evolving, I don't know. it's finally going better, which was also shortlived because it really wasn't, I think it was just kind of the awe of being somewhere new and yada yada. so I'm working at this restaurant in downtown Austin with Rayna I was serving, I wasn't bartending at the time, and we had just hired a new executive chef and I was at the computer ringing in my order my GM is behind me and he's like, Beaux, hey, um, meet the new executive chef. And I'm like, he can, hold on. I am, I am ringing shit and I am busy. I, I'm working for the people who pay my bills. I'm not concerned. I'll be there in a minute. So I finish ringing my order and I turn around and I'm like, hi, I'm Beaux, and I look down at this hand, and then I just start scanning upward to this giant man, and I don't know, we just locked eyes and something was just like. Like, like it's like I got hit by a bus and then he is like, hi, nice to meet you, and this voice pops out and I'm like, fuck me, I'm getting divorced. Ah, shit. I was like, that was the first thought in my brain is like, I'm getting divorced. Fuck. All right, here we go. So then, later on, like maybe the same day, maybe a couple days later, but pretty soon after this encounter and this man started working there, I was sitting outside after work with another coworker, Rebecca and Rayna, Rebecca was listening to me and Rayna Bitch about these terrible dudes we were in relationships with because Rayna was also in a relationship with a guy for a long time. They weren't married, but he was a piece of shit So, um, Rebecca was like, you guys already have the answers. If you just listen to yourselves when you talk, it's very clear what you wanna do. You just need to do it. And it's like, no, but no, but no, but fuck you. She was right. So I, shortly after that, ended up, leaving within like a month after that conversation and after, the new EC started we started flirting and we never did anything. We did not do anything.'cause he was also married, we did not do anything. But I feel like, he was kind of. Going through his own shit. The way he was describing it, it sounded like he was also married to like the female version of my husband. But I got along with her really well too. So, I mean, I don't know, maybe just like those love blinders that you get. Um,'cause I'm not,'cause I'd be falling in love left and right. I was desperately in love with that man too. Oh man. He, um, we'll get to him later before I go on another Beaux tangent. Who. Yes, ADHD is raging and the meds don't work, so I don't take them. Alright, sorry. Anyway. So I leave him, right? I leave my husband. and now we're in this limbo period where we had to wait 90 days before they could finalize our divorce. So, um, I told him I was gonna leave. I filed paper shortly thereafter. I wanted everything done very quick. So, between me saying I don't wanna be with you anymore, and me being legally divorced, it took about three or four months. So in the time after I left him, I was so ready to get dicked down and meet some fucking people that I just decided, um, to do that really to do that. So I didn't wanna stay home, obviously.'cause like I said, I was sleeping on the couch. I figured I'm the one who's leaving, he can have the bed. Right. so I was sleeping on the couch or just staying at random's houses or friends' houses. And um, and then I ended up hooking up with one of my coworkers, not the executive chef.'cause like I said, he was still married. But I ended up hooking up with one of my coworkers, Terrance, and I go to, Over. He was actually, he was roommates with Rebecca. So I would go over to their place, and stay the night from time to time. But it was funny because I didn't know I'd been outta the game for like five and a half years at that point. So I didn't know how things had changed or what have you. So when I went over to Terrance's house to hook up. The first time I was just like getting my shit on and I was getting ready to leave and go back home. And he is like, you can stay here. And I'm like, oh God. Because I'm used to being like in Orlando where I know my motto was, thanks for the oh, it's time to go get the, get the fuck out of my house. but apparently that wasn't the thing. He was like, no, I'm not gonna think you wanna be in a fucking relationship with me just because you spend the night like it's late, you can sleep here. And I'm like, oh, okay. That's nice. Alright, cool. So I ended up hooking up with him on a regular basis.'cause you know, post divorce, you need a fuck buddy. You need one and you gotta find one quick. and there was some follies that happened with that one too. Um, man. Oh, one time. Ooh, one time after we've been hooking up for several months and I was sleeping with way more people. One time I was, having sex with him and I called him I think three or four different names. Before I got to his name. So I kind of stopped. I stopped saying people's names while I was fucking'em after that, that was fucking embarrassing. But luckily, Terrance, um, either didn't notice or just, just really understood who the fuck I was and what we were doing because he did not care and he didn't say shit about it, but it was hilarious. And then also one time I went over there after work. Man, I was on a bender. Um, I was really, really, really trying not to go home because me and my soon to be ex-husband were fighting all the time. Of course, because that's what's gonna happen. It was just fighting and crying and like, don't leave. Yes, leave, blah, blah, blah. And then he wouldn't fuck me. My ex-husband that is, and he then he like made a reference to like, we should be fuck buddies. And it's like, are you serious? I like, one of the big reasons why I left was because you didn't want to be intimate with me. And now you have the fucking caucasity to ask me if I'll be your fucking fuck buddy. Get fucked. That's insane. Okay, anyway. Bygones. So, um, I was with Terrance and I had gone to work. It was raining, so I was wearing rain boots and shorts'cause I had to work on the patio. So I was wearing rain boots and shorts and my work shirt. And I had gone and stayed with Terrance that night and then went back to work the next day. And it wasn't raining, but I didn't have shoes. so I still wore my rain boots, I was wearing the same outfit, including the fucking rain boots again. And then I came back the third day, same outfit. I washed my clothes, I washed my clothes at Terrance's Place. Okay. I wasn't super stinky, but I still had those fucking rain boots. And so I was wearing the rainbow boots and it did not rain. It's not raining. So my, one of my managers was like, dude, you've got. To go home. I know what you're doing. I totally get it. But if the GM was here, you already know he hates you. And uh, he would absolutely find a reason to fire you for this shit. You have got to go get some different shoes. You can't keep showing up in the same outfit. I'm like, fuck. All right. You right. but, uh, what, he didn't call me on that day, even though he called me all wearing the same outfit. Luckily what he did not call me on that day is that the night before I had gone to, um, so I'd wash. So I had washed my clothes after the first night. So I had clean shirt, clean shorts, same galoshes, go back to Terrance's Place the next night. We fuck again. I don't take my shirt off because I was wasted, tired, So we're banging. I pass out, I wake up, I put my pants on. I try to like, you know, do this like, like we lick the bottoms of your fingers and you push up, get the eyeliner back on my face and like fingering, boom, I gotta go to work. And I had to work a double that day. Um, so yeah, so I go to work this double and I am bebopping around and Rayna comes up to me when she gets there for the dinner shift and she's like, girl, you have a rough lunch. And I'm like, no, not really. It wasn't that, not no. Why? She's like, oh, you've, you've ranch all over your shirt. I was like, excuse me? And I looked down. And this is pre breast reduction, not that I could even see it now, post reduction, because boobs are still big, but pre breast reduction boobs are huge, and all the mirrors were only coming like from the tits up, and so I had no idea. Last night when I was banging Terrance, he pulled out and he came on my shirt and I worked that whole fucking double, with jizz on my shirt. Lot of it too. Thank God. It looked like ranch. I get, there's no fucking way. It looked like ranch. So, yeah. So, um. That was kind of, uh, uh, a rinse and repeat, um, no pun intended part of my life, like this post-divorce, or in the middle of it kind of era. I really thank you Terrance for banging me when nobody would. No, that's not true. thank you Terrance for, uh, dicking me down when I was down and out. You are the best. I appreciate that. It was fun. It's really fun. Um, yeah, so eventually I move out and, give my ex-husband everything. I only take the coffee table and the couch, uh, coffee table. So I had somewhere to put my stuff, like a shelf essentially. And um, the couch. So I had somewhere to sleep. I left him everything else. And so that's when I moved in with a couple of guys off of Craigslist who were really dope. Had a good time with them until one of them moved out. And then the other one found a side hustle that was kind of crazy. And we ended up having like hundreds and hundreds of birds in the house. Hundreds eggs, babies full grown. Just quail fucking quail everywhere. But we'll get to that. That's a different story for a different time. So stay tuned. Um, but yeah, I think we'll wrap it up. proud of myself that didn't trash talk him too much. There's a lot more if you, um, if you're curious about it or anything, eventually, um, I'll tell you everything you just have to ask. Um, yeah, so I guess the reflection on that is that. I got married in the first place and I didn't realize it until after I got divorced that, when he said I could do this with you forever, I was really under the impression that no one, and I mean no one was ever going to say that to me again. Um, my self-esteem was so in the toilet that I really just was using my sexuality to try to fake, like I had some, um, and uh, which was ridiculous'cause. She, she is beautiful and she absolutely was beautiful back then. And, um, I love her, that version of me and I'm sorry that she had to deal with that, but we are making moves now, my darling. But anyway, um, I think I realized after I got divorced that the reason why I said yes to that shit in the first place.'cause I never got a proposal. I never got a ring. And not that those things matter. But it was all just so rushed and it was so, um, impromptu and it wasn't romantic. It was desperation because I genuinely thought that that was the only chance I was ever going to get for someone to say that they love me back, and, that was not true at all. Wish she would've known that. But I did learn a few things. And what I did learn was, it's not about what you want, it's about what you fucking don't. It's the checklist of things that you will not tolerate. It's deal breakers, and I'm not talking petty ones. I'm talking about what you fucking deserve as a person and how you deserve to be treated. By the person that you wanna spend the rest of your life with or the person you even wanna spend the next 15 fucking minutes with. It is absolutely up to you to establish boundaries and it's up to you to set the bar for what you will and will not tolerate. And learning that lesson is fucking invaluable. So if that's what I needed to tough out those five and a half, six years of my life doing, um, then I'm. Then I'm glad, I'm glad. I gave that man most of my twenties. Um, but I am really glad that I came out of it knowing what I want, what I need, and learning how to fucking run those streets, you know? So, yeah. Um, next one, we're gonna take a little casual. Quick fire, uh, trip down Beaux's, Austin, Heaux Bag Lane. And, uh, there's several chapters in that, so we might have to stretch that and do a couple of episodes of just random weird fuck stories that don't really connect to each other. We're just gonna like drop'em. Like little chaos bombs that have no connecting factor. Or maybe they do. I don't know. I honestly haven't written the outline yet, so we'll have to find out later. But that leads into me. Moving to the Caribbean. So we still gotta talk about the heaux bag lane. We still gotta talk about the bird house. We gotta talk about the chick who like set all my shit on fire and we gotta talk about what happens when I move to the Caribbean on accident. And, uh, yeah, it's gonna, it just, it's gonna keep layering. It's gonna keep layering. Oh, okay. So yeah, so that's that. Tell your therapist I said hi, and I'll see you next Tuesday.