EP 6: "Oopsy Poopsies, They Be Happening"

Some people are like late-night Taco Bell — bad for you, never as good as you hoped, and way too easy to fall back on. This week I revisit Mitchell, the “comfort food” of my love life, and the messy revelations that finally pulled the blinders off... and of course, some embarrassing shit in between.

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The Unhinged Ginge is my unfiltered memoir in podcast form, just stories. The laughter is loud, the hindsight is still nursing a hangover, and the details are... as accurate as memory allows.

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Transcript

0:00

Hey guys. Welcome back to another episode of the Unhinged Ginge. we had a good week this week. Hit some milestones this week, which is why I'm celebrating. So this week. I hit my goal for week one of downloads for this, which I was really excited about. And that is thanks to all of you for finding me. And if you already know me for supporting me, and I cannot fucking thank you enough, that was really exciting for me. So thank you and please keep tuning in. Um. Another one was I dropped 50 pounds. Hit that marker this week, which is also really exciting and, um. I got a raise at work and that's awesome. So I'm just really grateful for everything this week and I just want it to be known that the gratitude is so very real. Thank you for everything you guys are doing by just listening. Just tuning in, supporting me has. Really, the momentum is crazy what it's done for me this week. Um, I love it. Thank you. Um, okay, so let's see. Where did we leave off? We left off with, uh, Mitchell, didn't we? Hmm. Oh, Mitchell. Mitchell was like, taco Bell for my vagina. It's like, uh, you know, bad for you sounds good, but does it end up being as satisfying as you thought it was gonna be? And you usually only want it when you're drunk really late at night. But I, recently found out that he has, he recorded us having sex and doing other things. So, um, that's cute. So now that my blinders have been taken off about what I've thought about this man only took 10 fucking years. But you know what? As long as we're learning, as long as we get there, then fuck it. It's all about growth, right? So, yeah. So let's start with that. So the first time I gave this guy my number. Um, Rayna and I were going out. She had finally left this asshole. She was dating. I was into my divorce. We were going out, we get dolled up. So we end up going to my job just, that's, just start. Why not? Right? That's who you do in the service industry. You mainly hang out with the people that you work with a lot of the time. So we show up I looked fantastic. If I do say so. Myself was wearing this cotton short, little blue dress thing. I don't know. It was cute. It was cute and I only remember that because he remembered that and he would frequently mention to me that he remembered what I was wearing that night. So cheesy how we clinging to things. But yes, anyway, yet again, I digress. So, um. I came in, sat down at the table, we were out, we were smoking, talking, drinking, having a good time, and he pulls me over. I'm sitting in the chair next to him or close to him or whatever, and he like, whispers my ears some. I wish I could remember like verbatim what he said, but it was some like shit about how he wanted to take me home and how many physicians he wanted to put me in and like, yada, yada, yada, yada, yada. And I was like, ha ha. No, ha ha. What? call me later. So I do not believe I went home with him that night if my memory serves me correctly. But apparently it doesn't because, um, there's sex tapes floating around. So there's that. So, um, I guess we're not floating around. They're in his possession, but who fucking knows wouldn't be the first time Actually. It would've, it would've been the first time. It wouldn't be the only time.'cause I found out again, some other twat film me while we were fucking, that was later though. That was when I moved to New Orleans. Yeah. Nevermind. Bygones see these tangents. I'm so sorry. So anyhoo? So it's like, why not? I started hooking up with him'cause I'm thinking I need to build this roster. It's draft season for the fuck buddy team. So like, let's go. I need something consistent. And it might be nice to just kind of open up that rule I have of mostly just fucking tourists. Even though that was really easy. So for whatever reason, I Looked at Mitch, like an upgrade. Uh, I mean, I guess whatever. At least he was around. I don't fucking know. Anyway, um. I had fun with him. He was more exciting sexually than most of the vanilla dudes that I was with. I was hooking up with. I was always kind of like, you know, a fucking redhead, but didn't really have a, a say in the matter for that one. You know what I mean? When you're born a ginger, people start telling you you're a freak before you've even had sex before. You don't even get a say in the matter. It feels like. It's like, oh yeah, you're redhead red on the head, fire in the hole. Or, oh, redheads are freaks, or Redheads are this. Redheads are, oh, redheads have tempers, redheads. Like, so as a kid, and especially as a woman, I feel like you just, you hear so much about what you're supposed to be because of the fucking color of your hair. People, they just start you from a young age. A lot of different kinds of people have to hear who they are before they even know who the fuck they are. And then it kind of just, you never really get a chance to find out because you just slide into that mold. So yeah, I tend to be a fucking freak show in bed. But mainly like, you know, with the ones that I don't know, like I'm put, it was like I didn't wanna disappoint them or something, so I was just extra nasty.'cause you have to be when you're a ginger, or maybe you don't, but I had to be because I'm not only a ginger, I'm an Aries and a tiger and, and whatever else, astrology makes you a fucking demon. That's what I am. So I'm just like, I really just like thought the cards were stacked against me. Um, but you're welcome to all those. All those peens that got the privilege. So many peens, but that's okay. Anyway, we're talking about one peen right now, and that peen belongs to this dude Mitchell. So anyhoo, um, he wasn't as vanilla. That's where I was. He wasn't as vanilla as these other guys. He was more like, he was a fucking little freak show. uh, big porn guy, big porn guy. And the big porn guys tend to want you to do big porn things when you're fucking, so I did. I would've anyway, because that's just who the fuck I am, but you know, and that's what it is. Um, I cared about him a lot more than I am leading onto right now. I really gave a shit. I went out of my way. To make sure he was okay.'cause more often than not, he wasn't okay. Um, he's had a rough go at it and I gave a shit I, all I've ever wanted for any of these men that I've ever given a shit about is for them to be happy in some way, shape or form, at some point in their fucking lives. I just want these guys to be happy and I really, I loved him. I cared about him and I wanted him to be happy. And so I put myself through a lot more stuff than I needed to. Um, because of that. Um, but that was also after Chef left and we will talk about that next week. Um, but I kind of like fell into it. He was like, like he was fucking Taco Bell. I don't know man. It's like comfort food comf, comfort dick. Look Dick, a little too big to be comfortable. Can't take that away from him. But it was comfort dick. So. he became pro, like probably he was always in the top three rotation for my little, my squad of fuck buddies. And I was, uh, and I was comfortable with him sometimes too comfortable, sometimes so comfortable. No, I don't even know if that was, that wasn't even comfortable. That was just an accident. That was an accident that made us more comfortable because you either never talk to someone again or you just get more comfortable after an Oopsy poopy. Yeah, that was before I was working at gay bars and shit in, uh, in New Orleans. And I was just doing like, like not porn star, straight girl anal, and I was not Douching properly. And I should have been,'cause I didn't even know anything at the time, was like, oh man, just like make sure you get poop first, right? No man, you should like, hose that shit out, bro? Because Oopsy Poopsie, They be happening. And that was fucking embarrassing. But you know, if you're gonna shit on someone's dick, it might as well be a good friend's. Right? Yeah. Absolutely. So, um, oh, which reminds me after that is funny. After that happened, I like went to work and I saw Rayna and she was like, oh man, my tummy, like, I don't feel really good. I don't know what I had. Like, I like my tummy's really fucked up and I was like, your tummy's fucked up. You ever try to have anal sex after eating a bean burrito? Didn't think so. I tell you guys too much, I should really fucking stop. But then what would be the draw to tune in? So we're gonna keep it going anyway. The fallback with him was when Chef left and I was sad, and then he, like I said, he was fucking Taco Bell, so no one at the bar to fuck. Call Mitch bored, too lazy to try or care. Call Mitch feeling lonely. Call Mitch. I should have known that he wasn't the person I should have been calling or spending or wasting my time with. When, I found out what Snapchat was. This is back in the day. I don't even, I'm not sure when Snapchat was invented. Um. But I know it was really fucking new. And this was 2013, somewhere in that timeframe. And, um, I was blowing him because, you know, I blew him a lot. That dude, I don't know, he was just, he was fun to blow. So I blew again. Fuck. Ah, we're here to be unapologetic, but sometimes I forget that it's a lot for other people. Anyhoo. I blew Mitch a lot. So, one day I did catch him with his phone. He was filming me and I like, was like, what the fuck are you doing? You don't do that. Did I say you could do that? I was like, oh, it's just Snapchat. It doesn't save. And like, I'm like, not aware of what the fuck that means. And so like, yeah, that was already thrown out there and I should have known at that point then I, it should have been like, do not fuck with this guy. Stop fucking with this guy. He clearly has zero, zero fucking respect for you. But I had zero fucking respect for myself. And I was like 28 years old and freshly divorced and as I've said a thousand times already desperately just wanted somebody to love me or accept me or think of me for more than just a nice rack. Or this fantastic Ginger punani, So, yeah, so I think the, uh, the Snapchat thing probably should have fucking, uh, tipped me off, but it did not. So, um, one might think that a person would grow out of shit like this, you know, maybe get older, get start, hit your forties, maybe start having a little more coof, but then. He sends me that message letting me know about these tapes, which skewed my opinion of the person that I thought he was turning into, or the person that I thought that I knew. And I am talking to a friend, at a wedding a couple weeks ago, and come to find out he's sending dick pics to her mom, her 70-year-old mom. So you never, you never know. You never know who the fuck or what the fuck. Um, just kind of just gotta trust it. What do you think it makes, it makes for a good story. No, not a good story. It makes for a story. I suppose. There's that. I don't know. I don't know what you guys are doing. Men go to therapy. Please. All of you. Run straight men. Run to therapy. Now you need it. Stop pretending like you don't. You need to talk to someone. It's good for you. Please go to therapy. Okay. Do it. Do it for your children, do it for your wives. Do it for your buddies. Do it. Fucking do it. Do it because football season's too hard. side note, tangent. You're welcome. Um, I still held, I held space for Mitchell as a friend until I found out about the videos a couple weeks ago, and now I'm just like, fuck you, bro. He promised me he would never release them. I'm looking you, Mitch. He promised me he won't. Time will tell. We shall see, but like I said, you see my ass out there. You're welcome. So, um, yeah, I guess it's gonna be a short one for this one today. I will always remain grateful. For how he served as a distraction, um, when chef left.'cause that broke my art into a million pieces when he left. But, uh, we'll get to that, uh, next week, because next week, um, we're gonna talk about the, the truth about chef and chef. Was is he's not dead God for the fucking bid. Um, Chef is, he's magical, he's magic. He charmed us into a governor's ball and charmed himself into my pants. But I mean, let's be real. I told you guys the second I met him, just scrolled my eyes up, that giant man, and I immediately knew that I was in fucking trouble. So why am I even surprised that he. Ended up being such a, uh, crucial part of my story. He really taught me how to, to see me. I don't know. You don't just know, like meet one of those people who just, they see you and it's just so good the way they see you, but somehow they have this like magic ability to let you see yourself the way that they see you. It's in, it's like. Like, it's just such, it's fucking beautiful shit. It's really beautiful shit. God. And he could make me fucking dizzy in the best and worst ways. Anyway, next week is the chef, the chaos, and the phone call he got while I was lying in bed with him. That absolutely changed his life and, uh, changed the trajectory of mine. you don't wanna miss this one guys. You don't wanna miss this one. There's a lot. Whew. Oh boy. See, I can't, It's too much stuff to give away. I can't even say, just keep coming back. This is a builder. All right, so on that note, in case nobody's told you lately, you are worth way more, then whatever the fuck that guy told you. Okay? So keep raising the bar baby. And I'll see you next Tuesday.