EP 7: "Sexy, Sexy Heartbreak"

This one’s about Chef. The man, the myth, the mouth skills. We’re talking pedicabs that should’ve quit mid-hill, sneaking into the actual Governor’s Ball in yoga pants, and yes… a bathroom curtain situation that lives rent-free in my brain.

But it wasn’t all fun. One phone call and—boom—he’s gone. Left me drunk, ordering Taco Bell, and sleeping in his front yard like a lunatic. Love really is just a parasite that eats logic, and baby… it ate me alive.

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The Unhinged Ginge is my unfiltered memoir in podcast form, just stories. The laughter is loud, the hindsight is still nursing a hangover, and the details are... as accurate as memory allows.

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The Unhinged Ginge is my unfiltered memoir in podcast form, just stories. The laughter is loud, the hindsight is still nursing a hangover, and the details are... as accurate as memory allows.

Like, Listen, & Follow

TikTok | Instagram | YouTube @unhingedgingepodcast

Spotify, Apple, IHeartRadio https://linktr.ee/theunhingedginge

Transcript

0:01

Hey guys. Welcome back to the seventh episode of The Unhinged Ginge. Man I'm so, I love doing this. It's very therapeutic for me, to like get the stories out there, but it's also like the response I've been getting means everything to me. And thank you for all of your dms and your emails and your comments and your like, and like, just thank you for everything. For all the support. I really appreciate it guys. So I guess this week we are talking about Chef and we're gonna leave it at Chef, which I, uh, I kind of like, I love he hate because I love this guy's name, but we're gonna call him Chef. That's what he is, that's what he does. And that's, I actually asked him what he wanted me to call him because he asked me to still talk. It's kind of a trend if you hadn't noticed, And I told him that I thought it would be easier for me to remember what to call him if he named himself. So Chef it is darling. And uh, if you are tuning in, thank God I don't remember that much. Ah, okay. So, um, I like to think that. Every person has at some point in their life, or will at some point in their life, have that person that they would just set themselves on fire for. And I've had many, but Chef was, um, he was the first big one. And then one morning a phone call changed everything And we'll get there. So I'm gonna paint you a picture of him. he was tall and funny and smart, and he had this really I say had as if he's not still a living fucking person. Excuse, excuse my past tense wordage. Um, he is magic. Like I said before, he's just a really amazing person. Everybody who gets around him just becomes a better version of themselves just by being near him. Um, he's kind and compassionate and. I don't, I, I'm, I can go on for, for days about all of the positive attributes that this man has. I thought this was gonna be easy one because I can talk about him so much, but it's actually proving to be a little difficult. So let's just say, He was the best person I had ever met in my life up to that point, for sure. So I put him on a very high pedestal, very, very high. He could basically do no fucking wrong in my eyes. and I loved every second that I spent with him, anyway. But I got divorced. He got divorced. Fucking game on, I remember when he got divorced, I was ready to absolutely pounce. And, He's like, slow your fucking roll, slow down. He's like, I'm still processing, I'm still dealing with this stuff. I got a, like, It's a lot. It's the dissolution of a marriage. Like, I need time. He was also 10 years older than me, so that's probably had a lot to do with it as well. He wasn't a child like the rest of the boys, the, the men man child boys I've been fucking with. So he, um, I don't know, he was special, so he was like, slow your roll, I'm not ready. Relax. So eventually he was, and one night, he was managing, so he was actually dressed quite nice, like nice enough, you know, he was in like a button up shirt and slacks and whatever. And I, on the other hand, was in, leggings and my work shirt that had like shit all over it because it was a busy day. So I had like little stains and stuff on my shirt, like sauces or whatever. It wasn't jizz this time. It was actually sauce, but I still had shit on me. And, um, was wearing like yoga pants and just party bun, a long curly air, just all on top of my head and just like, you know, kind of like a, just a little messy disaster. And, uh, we decided like that we were going out that night. He wanted to take me around town. And show me his old stomping grounds he took me to this other little bar by the capitol. That was like down some steps in this little tiny, I don't really, I don't, I honestly wish I remembered more details about that night and for this, like I don't remember a lot of the details and not because I was like super hammered. Like I normally would be in these stories, but because I just was like in awe of him, everything, I just was full focused on him the whole time, and everything else was just like fuzzy. Background noise. I remember we like got in a petty cab and I felt so bad for the petty cab because he was such a big dude and I am not a small girl and I'm very dense and my muscle mass is pretty heavy back then too. So it was like this poor petty cab is trying to go up this hill. We weigh a lot. Oh, bless him. I don't know what we paid him, but it should have been more honestly. So anyhoo, we go downtown and there's like this big event happening and there's all these like big bubble tent type situations that are like closed off. It's like everyone's in. Like formal wear and business attire and looks very professional. And like I said, I do not, I do not fit in at all, but he's like, just trust me. And so he tries to sneak me in this way and he is like, you just gotta walk. Like, you know where you're going. And he just like walks through this thing and I'm like, yeah. So I'm like, go by. And I'm like, I'm gonna do it too. Like, and they stop me. Lickity split. They're like, absolutely not. I'm like, yeah, okay, that's fair. Um, so they like wander around different spot or whatever and, it's behind these tents and it's where, all the staff is doing the thing, the chefs, the caterers, like yada yada. And so I watch Chef, he so fucking slick. It was so sexy. He was so slick. He goes up to this one guy, like grabs a server or like a, a cook or something. And asked the first guy like, what's going on? What are you guys doing? Just very casual conversation. So the guy tells him what the whole thing is, and it's the fucking governor's ball, and we find out this, and he tells him a little bit of information. So then Chef takes that information and goes, sees like, oh, well, who's in charge? So he goes from staff member to like the boss of the staff members, uses the information that this person gave him as, and spun it as if he already knew what it was, and then regurgitated it to this next person. And the next person's like, oh yeah, Starts giving him more information. She's like, oh, that's really interesting. Well, I'm a chef, I'd really like to talk to somebody, and he is like, oh yeah, no problem. He's right over there. So fast forward. We're now talking the exec chef for like this whole thing is the catering the event or whatever. And the dude lets us in through like the service entrance I'm like, you gotta be fucking kidding me. But also like not, you've got to be fucking kidding me, because in my eyes, this man can do anything. He absolutely can do. Anything, and then he just did like what? You just snuck us into the fucking governor's ball. We're directly in front of the Capitol in like fucking Austin, Texas, in the middle of Congress Street, just chilling with all these professionals and politicians and whatever the fuck. And I looked like a scrubbed out monster. I was so uncomfortable. And he was like, no, you're good. You look great. It's fine. Don't worry about it. We're gonna have the best time. And so we're like drinking and dancing. We're meeting all these people. It was incredible. I loved it. And then we eventually like boogied out of there and we were just, I don't know, we were just dancing and kissing and. Just up against buildings, making out passionately. Everything just felt like it was just like, it was just this night. I don't, oh God, I can't let it go. It was, one of my favorites and I was just starstruck by him. Just he was incr. I don't know, man. Like I was just. I was mesmerized by this motherfucker. And, um, Rayna was working at a nightclub. And um, we went in there like, let's go see Ray. Go get a free drink. went in there and ended up in the bathroom that didn't have, uh doors. It was just like a curtain, like a shower curtain, like curtain type situation. And we go in there and we are just messing around, getting hot and heavy. And next thing I know, chef has got me hoisted up legs over each of his shoulders, and he is just going to town, sir is having a snack. Ooh. In that bathroom stall, Oh god, that man had mouth skills has probably good on whoever's with him now. Whew. I'm sure it's only gotten better. A motherfucker was incredible. It's some of the top five. Top, top five best. All of it. All of it. Holy crap. Every moment I had with that dude felt fucking sexy, man. But like I told you last week when we were leading into this, like he was just one of those people that made you see you the way he saw you, and I loved that. I never loved me as much as I loved me when I was with him. And I think that's why I was so just bad. I was just crazy. I was crazy for him. I was abs. I was absolutely fucking out of my mind. Crazy for him. So you could imagine how much of a bummer it was when I was on my last strike of tardiness at work and I was definitely late. But because the GM, who should have fired me, hated me, but also I think was just a little scared of me. He is a nice guy, but he is very passive aggressive and so he had chef fire me when I was late, which is totally fine. I deserved it. I know the rules and I was late'cause I was too busy running around being a fucking monster. But you know, that's what you do, that's what you do post-divorce in your twenties or just because you fucking feel like it, you know, growing pains, man, no shame over here. So, yeah, so Chef had to fire me. but it didn't, it didn't matter. It didn't change anything.'cause that was business and that was my fault. Like I fucked that up and it wasn't gonna stop me from seeing him caring about him, sleeping with him, wanted to stop me from doing shit that I was doing. That is for sure, I absolutely promise. So, Eventually I got a new job, at a spot on a different side of town. really cool space. That's where I end up meeting Evan, who we will talk about for just a little bit. He was a delightful baby. he was a delightful angel man as well. He was another, um, is, he's not dead. I gotta go and I still talk to him. Per fucking usual. I gotta quit pretending like. Like using the past tense for these guys, I say was because I move a lot and when I leave a city, it's like, that's like, but the chapters never really actually close because I keep these people close to me.'cause I love them, they mattered and they still matter. They're a big part of my life. And just because you're not my person doesn't mean you're not supposed to be a person that is in my life. And I don't just give up on people or leave people behind because. They don't want to be with me or because we don't live in the same place or anything. I don't, I don't know. I feel so blessed to have met these people. Anyway, I digress. Even though I was no longer working with him, um, and I was seeing him less, I wasn't actually seeing him less because I was still with him like three to four nights a week. Most I mean, I wanna say most weeks, like we were together a lot, at least at nighttime. That's at least where I was staying, man, uh. Oh, I just remembered a story. Ooh, that's a steamy one. We might have to save that for later. And, but I, I'm going to save that one for it later, but it's, um, it's like, it's, it's, oh God. Okay. It's like ghosting. Um, but like, but like, if ghosting was like sexy. I just remembered that. Mm. We'll check that one out on Patreon later. Once she makes one. There's so much stuff. Okay, so I digress. Um. Even though I was seeing him like three, four nights a week, most weeks and whatever, um, I was also seeing other people. I was still going home with tourists. I was still seeing strangers. I was still just like, like fucking spreading it around. Dude. I was hoeing it up big time after I got divorced, I was going for it hard because, why the fuck not, you know? and he was also seeing like, he was so charming. He is so charming. He's so, he's such a lady's man. He'd charm the panties off anybody. I swear to God. It's in his voice, the way he fucking talks to you like, you're done. You're a goner. You do not have a chance. You just don't. I don't. I don't. You don't. You don't. If he's into it, he will have it. I. I don't know if anyone said no to that man that he's ever wanted. Honestly. I mean, I'm sure because like it's, he's a human right and like rejection is real, but like, oh my God. So anyhoo, um, he had his fingers and a lot of different honey pots as well also seems to be a trend with the men that I'm attracted to. So, um. Yeah, I did. I got a little crazy, kinda little crazy sometimes for him, a little crazier than I needed to be. um, you know, you drink too much. You start feeling a type of way. I woke up in his front yard. I drove my car to his house and I parked in his lawn and I passed out in my car and then he woke me up. He knocked on the window. I guess I hadn't been out there long, I guess he said like five or 10 minutes. And I made a mountain out of a molehill and lost my fucking mind and ended up in his yard. Yeah. Yeah, I know. It's crazy. It's crazy. I know. It's crazy. I know I'm a fucking crazy person, but so are you. So we aren't here to judge. We listen. We do not judge. And all of you are fucking crazy. You're just as crazy as me. Do you know why you're just as crazy as me? I will tell you why it is because Love is like a parasite, but it only feeds on the part of your brain that helps you be logical and rational. Yeah, that's all it eats. It's logic and rationality, At least it does that until you learn how to love yourself. Once you learn how to love yourself, I feel like the game changes a little bit and it doesn't, it, I don't, I don't know, I just, maybe that's just me. You just like the, like be getting lost as like, you don't feel as lost. It's like you get lost in people, but like you have a map. Because you have a map of how to get back to yourself. You can find it, but when you don't know who you are or how to love yourself, you just can't. And it's just, it's just a parasite and it's, and it's hard. And since I hadn't learned how to love myself yet, I definitely let a lot of that get the best of me. So, yeah, so, um, that's how I felt about this man. It was a lot. And um, it all kind of, it's exploded when, um. We woke up one morning And he got a phone call and he sent it to voicemail, and then he immediately checked the voicemail come to find out his. Friends who own a restaurant in the Caribbean, had their sous chef, if I'm not mistaken, he fell off a ladder and broke his neck. Uh uh, not dead. Like don't, like he is fine. He is healed. It is okay. Um, but he broke his neck, so obviously he's out of commission. And it was about to be like busy. Season for them. Like they were actually in busy season at that point and they needed someone and they were like, you'll be perfect for this. And so it's like, Hey, let us know. We need to know if you're into this. And they left him this voicemail, so he hangs up the phone, he's like, oh, holy shit. And I'm like, what? And then he tells me what I just fucking told you. And I'm like, oh wow, that's fucking cool. Like when do they need you? And he's like, next week. And like. Everything just like sank. It hurt. Ooh, I'm getting a little like misty. I remember how she felt. That shit was hard. But I just, so, like I told you, I just want these men I care about to be happy and to like do something like Go Thrive, go succeed. Go, just go. You know, just go. So, so I supported him wholeheartedly. I was like, you have to. Without question, you have to go. He's like, yeah, you're right. I do. I have to go. And I'm like, yeah, you have to go. And so he knew that that was what he was gonna do, and I knew that's what he was gonna do. So, you know, gotta get on board, let him know I support him. So, I helped him pack, wrapping stuff up with Saran wrapping shit. That was weird. That was tough. and, yeah, a week later he left. And he took my heart with him. yeah, the shit ripped me in half. So of course you do what you, what you do when your heart's broken and that's get real drunk and Order. Taco Bell. Yes. Taco Bell is code for Mitchell now. So started doing that again'cause can't help myself. But it was hard. He was the fucking, he was my center of gravity at that point. That whole thing was hard. Chef was never mine. But he had me, he had me enough so that when he left, I spun out so hard, and that is not his fault. Like by any stretch I take full fucking response. I'm like, he left me and I went crazy. He didn't leave me. He, I wasn't his, he wasn't mine. We weren't with each other. We just loved each other and enjoyed the shit out of each other. Like it was what it was, but it was fucking hard. So, um, now that he's gone, next week, the fallout a messy 10 months, me moving in with different people.'cause I move out of the bird house, uh, me and Heather getting bored and buying a strap on. and then eventually it's gonna end with me booking a. One week vacation that turned into an adventure of a fucking lifetime, I also. I found this cute little journal that has a few little notes from that in here, so I will be able to give you more accurate descriptions of the way things happen because she did document some things that didn't get set on fire. That also will be coming up because I did have more of these. But a bunch of'em got thrown away or set on fire or whatever. I'm not even sure I've heard several stories. So all of that being said, I am wrapping it up for today. Thank you for sticking with me on this journey of sexy, sexy heartbreak. Um, in case nobody's told you lately, you are the plot twist my darling. So. Since you're in control, make sure you write a fucking good one. All right? And I will see you next Tuesday.