EP: 10 "Hurricane Beaux, All Over the Cabin"

This one is a little all over the place for several reasons. But overall its about Justin. And rambling. Im trying a new thing, just recording not filming, and it taught me a few things, but this is a test run. And im testing it on the silly story of how I met another wonderful person. 

ALSO! I realized I never said what Meg's podcast is called so you can find it it is called "Rebel Gold" give it a listen. xoxo

Transcript

0:00

Hey guys, and welcome back to episode 10 of The Unhinged Ginge. We made it to double digits. Very pretty excited about that. So a couple things I am actually gonna do different this week. Um, one is I actually haven't been using the mic that has been sitting in front of me the entire time. I am, it's on, I record with it, but then I end up getting so, uh, caught up in the editing of the video that I end up just using the audio from the video,'cause I'm not super tech savvy, so trying to dub the audio with the video to make it better audio and so on and so forth. Has proven to be a little, um, difficult for me. Um, so instead, while I'm learning that, I would rather just have my audio quality be better. So we're gonna focus on that. So for the next couple weeks, um, won't be doing the videos on YouTube. I'm gonna be filming, but just for clips so that I can, uh, promote on Instagram and TikTok and all that good stuff, but not going to be filming a full video. Specifically for my YouTube. So, uh, yeah, so expect to hear me not, watch me. Also last week, um, I was so excited going through my journal that I ended up putting like two, three episodes worth of shit into one. I recorded for nearly an hour'cause I just kept going, going, going. So I did like a rough chop kind of edit just to end at the first story, which was with chef dropping me off in the corner. I met Caroline tweedle dee and tweedle dumb,, the sociopath boat roommate, and Levi, of course. And then I ended off with, um, telling you, uh, that. With my life in shambles. Here comes another one that I meet. So we're gonna go back into the journal and continue from there. And, uh, yeah, let's, let's meet Justin, shall we? So, um, before I start reading out of, uh, this journal, um, there's things that I've noticed with me doing this lately that I just kind of wanna be honest about. I never considered myself someone to be, um, to, to hold back, if you will. And I feel like I have been, and I'm gonna be totally honest about it. It's because I know my mom listens to these and she is so supportive. Do not get me wrong. She's incredible. Uh, Sandie is incredible. She is one of the best women I've ever met in my life. But it's your mom, right? It's your mom. So sometimes I tone it down. I know it's hard to believe, but these are actually toned down because I know that my mom's listening, not that she would ever, or she always tells me, never lose your voice. So I know she's probably won't be too thrilled to know that I'm kind of reeling it in, um, because I know she's listening. But I am. Um, there are some, uh, graphic details in these stories. Of course, it's sex. It's always fucking sex, but, um, e I'm gonna try not to hold back, but I still might a little, I don't know. We'll see when we get there. Fuck it. Ugh, God. Also, usually when I'm like running my mouth, I've had at least, you know, a shot of tequila or something in me. So doing these, uh, sober is proving to be a test of, uh. Of who? Of who, of who I am, and how open I am to saying these things when I'm not behind a bar. Being behind a bar is, it's like, uh, instead of using liquor as your armor, it's just the bar is your armor and you're surrounded by liquor, so you feel invincible. But we're gonna give it a go. And then also with that and the story being about Justin. Yeah, I did it again. I fell in love in 15 minutes because I, uh, I do that. I told you guys, I do that and I'm not, like I say, I'm never gonna stop doing that. I have stopped because I have this wonderful man who, um, just captivates me. So I haven't felt the need to occupy my time and attention with just random fuck boys anymore, which is nice. But here I am rambling instead of getting down to the fucking point. So, all of that being said. Let's fall in love again, shall we? Let's meet Justin. Alright, so, uh, I was out, uh, on a phone call and, uh, when I came back, this is where we're picking up from in my journal. Okay. So I came back to the bar from making a phone call. I walked back to my bar stool. The seat next to me was now occupied by a man, I found so handsome, I couldn't look at him without blushing. I kept my eyes forward, out of nerves until he spoke."Do you smoke?","Yes.""Do you have a lighter?","Yes.""Well, uh, cool. I'm probably gonna need that at some point.""Okay, well I'll be here." I said awkwardly. So the thing was is like my cigarette, my lighters were sitting right in front of me on my bar stool. So these questions were pretty ridiculous to be asking me in the first place and see, knew the fucking answers to them, but I was like, oh shit, this motherfucker trying to talk to me. Oh, okay. Okay. Um, I also still was like learning, um, that I was pretty, am I worth? And like all of these things that, you know, but self-esteem, self-esteem, shit, um, understanding that no one's actually out of your league. Shit. All of this stuff was really important. Um, like lessons to learn, but I didn't, um,'cause some foul shit was said to me, um, by people. Uh, sometimes when I was growing up and you know about my weight, my hair, my, you know, we, we've all fucking. Everyone we've dealt with bullying and things and blah, blah, blah. And so I didn't really know. And then my ex-husband didn't help my self-esteem at fucking all. And so then that's where all the sluttiness came through afterwards. We say sluttiness, but I think we all know it's just like sex positivity and fucking figuring it out. But I, I was born in 1986, so you know, slut it is, but it's fine. I don't mind. I had a fucking good time. So, um, anyway, I was just kind of shocked that this guy was talking to me, is the point. Um, it was. Baffling. So let's get, uh, back to the book. Uh, alright. After a few more vodkas, I felt bold enough to speak to him. His name is Justin. He's a chef and a bartender from New Hampshire. He lives on St. Thomas and he is only been on island for a week. So this dude legit moved to St. Thomas like maybe two days after I had gotten to St. John for my vacation. We were on a very fucking parallel timeline that we didn't even know about, and the whole thing was kind of weird again, with the universe. Always fucking whisper screaming at me. So back to it. We talked all night. Hmm. I'm in love with St. John. I told him he was on the wrong island. He told me he had just gotten hired and worked his first shift at Peche. Coincidentally, I was also supposed to work at the same fucking restaurant because Tamara was, when she was setting us up. And her friend who lived on St. Thomas, her friend who lives on St. Thomas worked there and was going to get us jobs there when busy season was picking up and starting to hire. So no matter fucking what, I was gonna meet this dude one way or another. We were just supposed to be part of each other's lives. And I love that because we still are. And um, yeah, he's still one of my best friends. Love him to fucking pieces would do anything for this man. I'm glad that we. Have been so lucky to have the relationship that we have had ups, downs, high lows, everything. That's one of my ride or die motherfuckers. I love that dude. So anyway, I digress. Let's get back to it. Um, we left and talked and eventually went to Frank Bay to go skinny dipping. When we kissed, he tasted like bananas. His body is perfect. He's smart and funny and beautiful. And that night in that bay, he was mine for a moment. He made my body feel 37 kinds of awesome. Then we got dressed and went back into town. He left his shirt and I had learned the hard way because chef had to tell me when I first got to island and I was running around the grocery store and my, with my fucking, my boobs and my ass out and my fucking bikini, that it is so disrespectful in most places in the Caribbean. Um, if you're not on the beach, you do not need to be in your swimsuit. Put clothes on. Put clothes on, you're rude, bitch. Put clothes on. And I'm usually pretty good at tracking those things, but my brain never thought to look at where it was appropriate to wear a swimsuit in the Caribbean. Just because all the times that I've lived in Florida, growing up on the beach and shit like that, like you walk everywhere and you're, no one's saying shit to you. Like you walk into 7-11, you're in your bikini, it's fine. But that's so, you know, that's our country. That's not another country. So, um. Shame on me for not looking it up, but yay for chef for letting me know that the reason why everybody was not having my ass and staring at me like a disrespectful bitch was because I was being one with all of my glory hanging out all over the place in the grocery store. Rude as fuck. So, um, we stopped at Castaway so he could buy a shirt and, um, yeah. And be, you know, respectful. Also, you can't get into the bars and stuff without a shirt on because part of the good deal, right? Like fucking be respectful if you're going to travel tourist, be respectful. Come on. We already know the kind of shit that they're talking about us and we deserve it. So like, let's break the cycle. Let's not be asshole American tourist. Okay. Alright. Any who? Tangent over. I digress. Um, because no matter how brilliant his body was, it was still disrespectful to not have a shirt on in town. Little did we know how little we would care about respect in just a few weeks. Caroline was spending that night at her dad's place before he flew out. So Justin and I stayed at her place. Okay, so Caroline, um. The, the, the fun stimulant abusing, uh, sweet baby angel with a personality disorder. Um, she, her father was very, very wealthy. He had a nice ass condo that was his, that he owned there, and he was. He rented her an apartment, um, I guess so to like try to have her pull her head out of her ass or, you know, find some independence. Just, you know, doing the things parents do when your kid's not in a good situation and you're hoping that you, they'll find a way to straighten themselves out, I guess. I don't really know, but it gave me and Justin an opportunity to sleep in a bed that night instead of sleeping on the pallet in Frank Bay, which I told him is where I would be sleeping earlier when we did, um, go skinny dipping and like fuck in the ocean and they hang out over there in Frank Bay. I pointed the pallet and I'm like, that's where I'm sleeping. So like, eh, But luckily we bumped into Caroline and, um, she offered us her apartment for the night. So we didn't have to do that, which was really kind of her. So, um, made everything a little bit more comfortable. Uh, back to it. The next morning we woke up, grabbed breakfast and a beer, and then I took him on a short hike to Solomon. Still laughing and talking, spinning around in the water, getting to know each other, how he spent a little time in California, was born in Massachusetts and lives in New Hampshire, that his favorite color is blue and he hates goat cheese. Okay, that one killed me. Fucking hates goat cheese. You could legit put a goat cheese on a cat turd, and I would fucking eat it. I love fucking goat cheese. Fucking doesn't like goat cheese. That shit's wild to me, but I mean, I suppose everybody has to have a flaw, so it is what it is. Love you Justin, but seriously, goat cheese shame on you anyway, about his, about the nerve damage and his right leg. His mom, who drives a truck for a living, his siblings, he's the middle child. And like I said before, he makes me laugh and he still tastes like bananas. He was going to have to leave soon to catch the two o'clock ferry back to St. Thomas so he could go to work, but he didn't want to. He'd rather spend the day with me, he said, so I said, why don't you just flip a coin? I mean, obviously, right. That's kind of my m.o.. Why don't you just flip a coin? So he did. Andy stayed that, oh, heads you. Head home tells you, keep your ass here thing. I swear to God, whew. Some really fun and weird shit has happened to me in my life. Just from, from that, that motto on a coin flip. After spending another day together on another amazing night, the next day I had to work my first shift at the bar we had met at, and he went back to St. Thomas. So at this point my phone is, uh, janky as shit. Um, works sometimes on wifi. Um, the microphone is fucked. So from like salt water and sand and shit like that, it already had cracks in it and stuff. When I got there, it was not in the best shape. Um, so my phone was shitting the bed for sure. So it was basically a paperweight at this point that could work like a handful of apps and occasionally use the internet. But overall I was sans communication. Um, when it came to that until I could get a new phone, but I didn't have a job. I had no money. When I decided, uh, to flip the coin that ended up telling me to stay, I literally had$100 and a carry on. That was all that I had to my name. Um, which is why I had chef drop me off on the corner in Cruise Bay instead of going to get a fucking room or anything that, you know, an adult with money or credit card or anything could like even ask for. But I, um. Was, uh, trying to dodge a few bullets and hide from something, so I was laying pretty fucking low, um,'cause of some shit that had happened to me previously that I was trying to dodge. So, um. Yeah, so I was broke, um, which is why I told you, or maybe I didn't, oh, maybe I recorded that in the last one, and when I listened to it, I got confused. That's definitely an option. So eventually I started having Tamara like start selling some of my shit, and then she was also wanting to take over my car, so she would send me money, um, like as if I was like selling that car to her. So she would send me payments for that. And um, yeah, I just kind of did what I had to do to. Have enough money to get by. So it was what it was. So I had, it says I had no phone. I did have a phone, but it didn't really fucking work. It was more of a paperweight than anything else. So just so, just so we got that out there. So, um, I told Justin that I would be at across the street tomorrow for football. Um, avid Dolphins fan. Um. They had the ticket at across the street. So of course I'm gonna watch. It's October, let's go. My team sucks no matter what, but hey, I'm always pulling for em.. So yeah, where am I? Um, I told'em I'd be out to cross the street tomorrow for football if he wanted to hang out again. I never thought I'd see him again, but I'll be damned he showed up on Sunday. When he showed up, I was pumped. And he was there for like 90 seconds before I had made the connection to get him a job. So a couple of things. I got him a job at Woody's, which was the better version, like the, the main version that's probably still fucking there. It was across the street. Like I said, it was the same owner. So I got him a job over there as a cook. Um. And so he basically, like, he already had it kind of in his brain like he's hopping to St. John. I have slowly convinced this motherfucker to give up everything that he had set up for himself because he did everything fucking right. He did everything right, guys. He left New Hampshire after he'd saved money. He got, he made sure he had a, an apartment he had. A job. He had everything set up exactly how he needed it to be so that he could move down there, work the season, make the money, and then go back to New Hampshire like six months later, having this awesome fucking experience. He did it all right. I did it like a fucking loony tune because that's who I am. You know, broke and janky and out of order and like, what the fuck, you know, hope and a prayer because that's, that's just, I mean, fuck it, right? Why not? Why not? No husband, no kids, nothing, nothing to go. Like I had friends, sure, but I didn't really feel like I had anything to go back to in Texas. So like, fuck it. But here's this dude doing all the right things, and now here comes Beaux. You think you're doing it right? Let me plant a little seed and water it, and eventually ruin your fucking life. I swear to God, ugh. I convinced the sweet angel of a man to basically uproot everything that he had, that he legit only had for a fucking week before he upended it to come be homeless with me and sleep on the fucking beach. On St. John so that he didn't, and he, he took the ferry back and forth for several days. He did do the commute-y thing, but then eventually he just brought his suitcase over and he just stored his suitcase where I stored mine, which was in Levi's closet, because I had nowhere to put shit until I eventually ended up getting on the boat. I get on the boat very soon. So let's, uh, see, I do like, I will tell you just even midway through doing this, I do like the energy and the way I told this story on the last round when I was extending it from episode nine because I was so pumped and now I feel like kind of scared. I feel like a deer in headlights because I don't think I'm doing it as well as I did last time. And, um. Can't wait to go back and listen to all of this while I edit because I can basically guarantee that I'm fucking not the last one was really solid, but hey, um, it's a first. So we're doing it and we're gonna, give ourselves some grace. Be our own best friend. and hope that this shit just works out Um, so forgive the disorderly brainwaves and, uh, the tangents, but my journal. was me Cliff noting everything that happened while I was living on island. Um, and I did it right after we landed in New Orleans just so that I could log everything so that I wouldn't forget a lot of stuff. Um, but there's so much more than what's actually in here. And um, so if I start kind of shooting left, shooting right, shooting up, shooting down with these tangents, it's because all these memories just do flood back. Very swiftly, um, you know, like they do. So back to it. Um, and he was there for 90 seconds before I had made the connection to get him a job. So the whole thing just started happening very fast. He spent another three days with me, slept on the wood palette on Frank Bay, had sex every day. And on day four he finally stopped tasting like bananas. Crazy. Caroline had forced, uh. Yeah, premature conversation. Okay. I originally did not wanna talk about this. Caroline was like super weird. She thought Justin and I were really cute together, noticed how much time we were spending together and that we were like living in each other's buttholes. So she kind of forced a conversation like, you should have, like, you know, you should be together for this season. Or like, whatever. It was awkward. It made things shitty. It was way too fast. Everything was stupid. And you know, I was 28, I was still young. I was still letting people kind of, um. Push how they thought things should be going on. Me and I, uh, luckily don't really fucking do that anymore, but damn. So she kinda like, she kind of fucked my game up, honestly, because I thought everything was going, uh, swimmingly. Um, but it got weird for a second. Um, but we had a conversation, we fixed that. Um. Everything was fine. It was just, you know, kind of like, ugh. I think he thought I wanted a little too much than I did at that moment because of what Caroline was saying, which, you know, is fine. I did like, like, like fall flat on my face already. I was enthralled, but like the best way to get over one is to get on top of another one. Right. Or the best way to get over one is to get under another one. I don't care if you're a top or a bottom or what you're into, but you know, getting dicked down is the best way to fucking forget about how bad it hurts on the inside. Okay. Any who? He stayed with me one night on the sailboat. Okay. So at this point, um, we did get approved for the sailboat. That's where the rest of my money went. Um, so we are staying on this janky ass bum fuck fucking sailboat. That is like, it has no hatch, like to get in. Like there's no door. So when you go down into like the sleeping quarters, um, if there's a storm or anything that rolls through, the water's just coming in. It's just coming in. It is what it fucking is. Um, and uh, the dingy didn't have a motor and it was one of those big fucking heavy ass, giant dinghies, no motor one ore. Had to sit on the front of it, like straddle it or like kneel in the front leaning forward since there was only one ore, And then I have to row it into Cruise Bay where all the bars and stuff and the fairies docked were, I have to pull this like 300 pound dinghy up onto the fucking sand. Drag it 20, 30 feet so that I could take this cord and wrap around it and tie it to a palm tree so that no one stole my shitty ass dingy. Because if somebody stole my shitty, shitty ass dingy, then I would have to swim out to the boat. And that was a fucking long swim. So it just wasn't great. And then the fucking assholes on the ferry would laugh at me'cause it'd be raining some days and I'd just be rowing my one. My one ored dingy. Just rowing away just so I could go to work fucking twice a day every day. And, uh, yeah, but we got on the boat and the boat was just janky fucking shit. Bag ass dingy. Um, everything was weird. Uh, the sociopath was a fucking nut job. I was only on that boat for like 10 days. I like feared for my life. That dude was out of his fucking mind. I'm pretty sure he like got voted off the island or something, which is crazy, but actually like a thing that does happen. I don't know what you're supposed to say and what you're not supposed to say about it, but basically if you are bad news and they don't want you there, you need to fucking go.'cause if you don't, no one's gonna find you in the cane field just putting it out there like that. So I'm pretty sure he got voted off the island. Maybe he left to his own, um, accord. I, I don't fucking know, but I think, um. I'm pretty sure he, he flew off because he knew better than to stay any longer. But that 10 days on the boat were wild. But we're not talking about him, we're talking about Justin. So one night on that sailboat my babies. Um, one night on that sailboat, we had fucking. We had some, we had sex that was just fucking, we were on one. We were the proper combination of like drunk and coked up and fucking just zoom in. We were having the best time. And your girl was like, fucking Old Faithful over here. I swear to God, she's a geyser. She's a geiser. Didn't even care about the storm that has like without having a hatch and having it get all. All the rainwater in your fucking sailboat. I, I was the rain baby. I was the storm. That fucking boat was wet, bro. It was just wet. Lemme just tell you. That was the thing. Whoah. That was a lot. That was a lot. Even for me. That was a fucking lot. And then Justin's like, oh my God. Okay. Also set a personal orgasm for fucking uh, uh. Set a personal orgasm. Set a personal record for orgasms that night. Yes, I did. Or he did? I don't know. He fucking killed that shit. That was wild. We had such a good time. Oh my god. But it was so funny because you remember, um, like Blue Steel from Zoolander? Okay. Well he used to make a really funny Blue Steel face, and so I would like ask him to do it occasionally when I needed a joke, like we were outta the bar, like, oh yeah, like show him the Blue Steel and he would do his cute little like, you know, Blue Steel face. And so we're fucking, and he legit, I kid you not, he Blue Steel's me and I am dying. I start laughing. I'm like, Did you just blue steal me? He's like, oh shit, I think I did. And I was like, it's cool. We'll make it sexy. Blue steel me baby! Blue Steel me.. It was fucking hilarious. Shit was so funny. We were just having a good time. We were just, you know when you just like fucking, and it's nasty, but it's also so good, but also you're so comfortable with the person that it can be funny and that just makes it hotter in some way or another. It was like that, and we were just all over the place. Front of the boat, inside the boat, outside the boat. And he was all over the place on me too, because I tell you what, I let that man do whatever the fuck he wanted to me and I did not care. And I still would indeed. And don't worry, I don't get in trouble for these episodes. Cameron, my boyfriend is amazing and he loves Justin. He's met him. Um, he stayed with us in New Orleans, which is another funny story that I don't know if he'll allow me to tell or not. But anyway, that's a New Orleans chapter, not this chapter. But it's fucking iconic. So he is hoping that he lets me tell, but I do have to ask permission for that one because it's, it's embarrassing as shit for him, if you know what I'm saying. So, um, anywho, where was I? Oh yeah, fucking Hurricane Beaux is squirting all over the cabin. and, uh, we're having the best time. And then he fucks me. He fucks me in the ass. And then, um, wants me to go down on him. Pretty shortly after that and I was like, oh no boo bear. We have to be in a committed relationship. If you wanna go ass to mouth, I do have some sort of like boundaries and ass to mouth is reserved for relationships, you know, I'm saying. I think that's only fair. He laughed and I think he agreed. So, um, you know, it is what it is. Where was I Back to this, talking about all this crazy sex. Give me all. I'm fucking confused. Okay. Anyway, that was fun. We still talk about that day. We had a good time. Fuck yeah, dude. Big dick motherfucker. Me and these big dick motherfuckers. I have said it before. I will say it again. I am not a size queen. I am just attracted to big dick energy. It is not my fault. Maybe it is. Or is there a fault? Let's not even call it that. It's not, uh, it's not my doing. How about that? It's not my doing. Um, but I'm certainly not fucking mad about it. Any who? The boat only lasted a week and a half. The sociopath was crazy, a liar. And overall, a very bad person. The island had a way of putting a spell on you. Shutting down my sense of logic. I should have never moved on that boat with boat with him. I should have never thought that Justin and I were more than anything than fucking, but the ongoing excessive drinking and cocaine use got the best of me causing confusion and drama all across the board of my life. Now I'm gonna end with the journal here because the next sentence is New Orleans is still a party, which means we have now moved to New Orleans. And um, this is when I'm gonna start, stop backtracking on the island and start talking about New Orleans stuff. So now I'm just gonna hit up the island with, uh, with some memories. So, um, we are gonna keep this Justin episode. I will round out a little bit on this one because I don't I, this is what happened last time. When I got to that point in my journal when I was recording last time, first I realized that I went too far and I recorded way too many episodes in one'cause there was a lot more than what I've already told you right now. And there was a lot more tangents and a lot more shit. But then when I got to this part of my journal and I realized, oh, we're about to hit New Orleans, my brain kinda went like, just fucking froze. So. Since that's the case, thanks. Raging A DHD and not knowing what the fuck I'm doing half the time. So I kind of got stunted and wasn't sure where to talk from there because then all of a sudden everything sort of floating back very swiftly and I felt confused. And I'm gonna be totally honest with you, that's exactly what's happening right now. So I think, um. I think probably wrap it up for today. Uh, there's so much other stuff to talk to you about The Caribbean and Justin and Levi and Tweedle d and Tweedle dumb and chef and there's still like when we go swimming in the bioluminescent and how like, um, oh, how I had to, how I, Levi taught me that I couldn't go skinny dipping around there anymore because of some. Predator fish that like shiny objects and could have potentially bit my vagina because of the piercings that I had. And, um, also just, uh, overall dumb shit. The lesions that covered my face, um, from the heat rash and, uh. I don't know, man. Oh, the guy who stole my, all of my stuff robbed me when we were squatting in a hou, I was squatting in a house with twiddle D and tweedle dumb. A guy robbed me and there's like so much stuff. He stole my sex toys, bro. It was weird as shit. So there's like still a lot to come. Um, I am gonna try to figure out how to edit this so I can put in some of the funny bits from the last one in here because a lot of that shit was really gold. And I lost it because a lot of it was really fucking bad and I made the mistake of listening to it before I recorded this. So I think I got in my head a little bit too much, but that's okay because we are only 10 episodes in and this is only what, like my sixth Tuesday of episode release. So I feel like, um. I feel like we're making progress and I feel like you guys are starting to get to know me a little bit better and you're starting to see the things. So please hit me up. Comment, DM me, do the things. Tell me what you want. Tell me what we need. Let's get it going so that this can be a fucking like interactive thing. Because what's going to eventually end up happening here is I'm going to. Bring people on to talk about shit that I've already talked about with you and their perspective on it. I'm also gonna bring in different people and I'm also going to get your opinions, get your things. I want your shitty stories. I want all of your fucking shitty stories so I can read them here and like talk about it and react to'em live. I want to eventually get like phone, like call-ins. I wanna be able to talk to you guys and have like a back and forth. Uh. And you guys don't even know me on the back and forth. I mean, the people who do know me, know me, and you know, that is where I shine because I am a bantering bitch. But we'll get there eventually. And thank you for staying tuned. Thank you for, um, just thank, thank you for listening every week and supporting me. It means the fucking world. I know this, and I've said it before, is kind of like, eh, all over the place right now, but man, we are headed in the right direction. I feel like. Like shit's gonna start shifting soon in a really cool way. I just got this new coworker, she's incredible. Her name is Meg. She also started a podcast a couple years back, but she's rebranding. She only has three episodes posted. But um, she sent me episode two, which is the only one that I have listened to. I really suggest that you listen to that as well. It is just her on an unhinged rant and it is fucking gorgeous. And it made me realize how much me and this bitch have in common. She is my. Sis for sure. So eventually I wanna have her on here so we can start talking about life stuff and so on. And there's just, there's just a lot of stuff to come. So thank you for your patience. Thank you for dealing with me in my growing pains and as I learned how to do this shit. So, yeah, I think, uh, we'll wrap up for today because I don't know where else to go. Um, and, uh, next week we're gonna. I have a little more structure because it won't be me trying to do the same episode twice. I think I fucked myself there to be honest with you, but you already know that because I've already told you three times. So clearly I'm really insecure about it. But that's okay. It's a safe space. It. If I can't be fucking insecure here with myself, then how the fuck o. How am I supposed to do anything? My babies? No shame in my game. So let's learn together. All right. So if nobody's told you, uh, lately, give yourself some grace, it's okay to fuck up. It's gonna be okay. Um, growing pains are real and, uh, one way or another you'll figure it out. And you won't figure it out if you don't keep going. So just keep going, my babies, and I'll see you next Tuesday.